This part of being married has taken a toll for me emotionally. Up to a few week ago I was convinced and set on keeping my father's last name and hyphenating it by adding Steven's last name. Then, the more I thought about it and after the unpleasant flight back from Punta Cana, DR I'm having mixed thoughts. Lets start at the beginning.
My mom named me after an aunt. My first name is really Orquidea which translates to Orchid in the English language. Then she proceeded to add a middle name, my father's last name, and her last name. Making my name ( ) this long. Literally. And although it doesn't seem that long it really is. Especially when I write it out or have to sign legal stuff. It can get annoying, just so you know. Don't get me wrong, I love my names and last names. All four of them but this is where it gets better and trickier. After my brother was born she thought it was cute to use the same letter of my middle name for my brother. "P". Then after my sister was born she also thought it was "cute" to give her my first name, along with a middle name with the same initial, and of course both last names. That's where I get frustrated because now both my sister and I have the name initials, and because most places only use the first initial of your middle name it looks like we are the same person unless the date of birth is also specified.
p.s. that's where I think the confusion happened when we were traveling out of Newark to DR. The lady, not realizing there where two of us probably thought she had already checked in an Orquidea and overlooked the other one. And that's why we we're always in doubt when school would sent letters home. However that's not the main focus of this post. Moving on.
Ok. So after the story of my mother and our names comes my father's story. He passed away when I was 11yrs old. I don't have any pictures with him after my 1st birthday. The only thing I have of him is his last name. That's how I, personally, feel close to him. Giving that up, to me, is like letting go of him. Of course I have a brother so his last name will continue with my brother and he has 12 other siblings that will keep the last name going as well so I shouldn't have any issues giving it up. However, for me my last name is more than just that. Is who I am. Is my identity. Hence why I was set on hyphenating.
Then came the dilemma of having my family (husband and children) with the same last name and although I too will carry my husband's last name, I will be the only one with my dad's. And what if they over look my husband's last name? They always overlook my mother's and that's hyphen to my dad's. And its just right that I carry my husband's name proudly. Which I will, but I want to be known as Orquidea P Dad's last name-husband's last name. What's the big deal? I was going insane this past week thinking about it. DH (dear husband) says he's ok with me hyphenating or just using his last name but he wants me to carry his last name and I do too. I'm not ready to let go of my dad just yet, nor I think I ever will.
If I just take DH's last name I will no longer have the "same" initials and "similar" name as my sister. Which means I probably won't have any more issues at the airport or other government offices and the post office.
If I hyphenate I will be happy, will still feel close to my dad, make my husband happy, and so on. I guess I will have to stress for both of my last names to be use at all times. It's really more confusing and personal than it sounds. I guess that because I kind of, sort of decided on what I really want I'm finding it difficult to argue it at this exact moment. If I would of written this on Tuesday we would of had to have a continuation post to this because it would of been a never ending battle. So I guess I'm kind of happy I stressed about this so much this week. Now I know what to do once I get my marriage certificate.
I guess my job here is done.
Good night.
No comments:
Post a Comment